I've said before that my Number One Rule is "Try to not be an asshole." I got around to formulating this rule by, well, being an asshole on past occasions. I've learned to recognize some of that past assholery (sometimes with an assist from other people rubbing my nose in it), and try to use that recognition to avoid further social or intellectual errors.
Sometimes that assholery involved attitudes toward or statements about women. There are a few fanzines or apa mailings from my early years in fandom that I would gladly burn all copies of, because of offhand remarks I made therein. (Was I really so utterly clueless? Yes. Yes, I was.)
So it disturbs me to see two writers I respect, even older than I am, writing words that the twenty-year-old-me might have written.
I'm especially sad to see such a lack of self-awareness from Barry Malzberg, who I've always regarded as one of the Wise Old Men of Science Fiction.
One observation: When I was growing up in the 50's and 60's, "Lady" was what my family named our dog.
(Caveat: I am sixty goddamned years old, and not being an asshole is still a work in progress. I try; I'm not always successful.)